Some states of mind are less deranged than others. To understand which is greater in terms of detriment to ones own "self" one must examine said states though the lens of ... well. Actually. I have no idea!
I do know that some years after this images was originally made (Currently, Aug. 11th, 2019) I'm unably to figure out what I must have been thinking, feeling, experiencing...
What I know is that I was fixated on both the subject and the process used to generate such an image. I knew then (well, hoped, at least) this day would come.
Where in I would be ably to post such things without recrimination. This due to the unsubstanteaded worry of being "found out". Forever doging an unworrented anxiaty. No one was looking then, nor are they now. Even if "they" had... they would not possibly have known of the the self imposed sense of impending doom felt in conjunction with the creation of images such as this.
The idea for this work came to me as I stared at a huge pile of "stuff". What a stupid way to start out this fuck.
Okay, so here's what I have. I just got off the phone with Geoff. He is in my view, an amazing art critic and writer. I hope that is not just because he happens to like my work. God thats stupid. fuck.
Geoff is a writer.
He writes about art.
I do stuff.
They call it art. (sometimes)
Geoff thinks They are dumb.
I like Geoff.
Okay, Alright. Intro: This is what was recorded during the event!
I've lost the original files, however these were uploaded to iMovie for whatever reason. These are a kind of preview that program generates for itself.
Well, of course that sounds nice and is fascinating the more its understood. I don't yet know what to make of it all, but I have some ideas.
I'll be working them out here so as to be ably to look backwards through time at some point and try to figure out how I got to where I did.
"Self-Technology," seems different than "Do-it-yourself Technology"
"Self," to me is one of two people. My self or Will Self, in some circumstances I suppose it could be the both of us.
"Technology," well I don't know. Now what is it, Cloud based, by-directional, user experience, SEO this and that. ...FTP, POP, HTML, Analytics. I am sure I will never really understand. So I can't do it myself. I will have to rely upon those who produce the Technologies. I will also be relying upon those who produce the Self's.
I am responsible for maintaining a "healthy" divergent personality disorder through obsessively indulging in cathartic activities.